it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
