when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
