I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
