I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize