At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
