i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize