i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
