the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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