I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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