Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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