it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
