She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
