It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
