I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
