do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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