i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
