I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
