We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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