nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
