yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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