I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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