Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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