Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
