so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
