Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
