I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So squirting runs in the family.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
