before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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