You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
