Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We named our party play list daddy issues
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
