is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And then the night went full on bisexual.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
