Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
