ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
