just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
