I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
