maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize