I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
