So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
