we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
