what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just tell him i said nine months
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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