Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize