Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Panties = found
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