And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
