Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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