u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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