I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My vagina just clenched in fear
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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