I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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