No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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