Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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