Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
