I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
