it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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