Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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