Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
