I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
vagina is talking i cant
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
