He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
