Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
