no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
