ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
