Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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