I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
