I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
