too bad you live with your parents still
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That accounts for only three of the penises
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
