I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
