I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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