Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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