worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
