I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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