I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
