i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
