So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
