I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize