i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my shit smells like andre
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
