I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
