Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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