That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
